I should never have got married. Now I have no Soul!

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Anyone out there??

It's really nice to be on blogville, it is very lovely community and I love the anonymity of it all. I love the open-ess here and that I can bare my heart out.

I am very unhappy today, infact, I have been unhappy since the week began but only decided to pick myself up a bit- thing is, if I don't pick myself up when I fall to pieces- no one will.

I am sure you are curious to know what has happened in the last few days- my mother-in-law's shindig went very well, as usual, I kept up the whole happily married charade and entertained my friends who came along. Did my hubby bother to invite people to his own mother's birthday- not really... was he even there? not really? after the service, he popped out to a meeting with some foreign partner who came in the night before.... these are the sort of things that make me loathe him even more and more... he is so insensitive- TO ANYONE and ANYTHING, it's ridiculous.

I am unhappy because I just found out that a younger friend of mine- who got married 2 years ago has been going through the worst marital turmoil ever. I can't even talk about her story right now- it seems too surreal. I wish I had warned her- young girls just want to get married these days- like it is the solution to their problems- when you ask them to slow down, they look at you like- 'yeah, easy for you to say- Mrs perfectly married'. I have not stopped thinking about hers or my situation ever since.. and that's something I never do- usually I put a mental block to it!

I remember when I was dating my hubby- I made a phone call to an aunt that I am really close to and she'd been married for about 20 years- she said to me 'I know you are probably thinking about marriage and most people are pressuring you and asking you "when"- please my dear - think hard and think well, there is no hurry to this thing called marriage- it is not all it is cracked out to be'.... I should have listened, but I thought she just had a bad day- the things I know now!!

I remember when I was getting married- another aunt said to me and my friends - Be very clear about what you are getting into and most especially- WHY!! IF you're marrying for love, don't get there and start saying- he has no money! and IF you're marrying for money, don't get there and start saying he doesn't show you love! I didn't marry for money - but where's the love???

Listen, I have put up my email address- If you have a story to share, or you need advice and would like me to post it as a blog- email me....

I am in the dumps today and I really can't share right now- I will share as soon as I feel better.. I am just a bit of a mess today and I'm sorry you had to read it so early on... I just needed a listening ear- even though I am just rambling.

signing out for today.....


  1. Firstly nice blog..your write with great clarity. I hope you rise from this low very soon and rise above it.

    Will come bk soon, stay blessed xxx

  2. Don't wori evry will b alrite...
    I luv it wen pple use their experience to help others pls kip it up.

  3. BIG HUG.
    We will be here
    all ears and no judgement.
    I cant wait to ear ur story.

  4. Hey dearie!!!
    Im sorry you are having such a bad day!!
    Im glad blogsville has been able to offer you come comfort,
    Whenever you feel down in the dumps, open ur computer and pour it out.

    We can not always give you the solution to your problems but we can make you laugh or at least offer you temporary relief.

    Pls come back soon,

    Phoenix aka padosh

  5. You took a step in the right direction with coming to blogville...cuz frankly a problem shared here, is a problem quartered...take it from me...It is well dearie...I don't know the gravity of what you are going through but one thing I know is that you will be fine in the end...

    my question is though...when do you think the pretence is going to end? Frankly it seems very clear that doing this continually is eating at you from the inside...

  6. Thanks for sharing this experience. It's a reminder for singles to "shine our eyes". Sorry about it all.

  7. HUGS! Hope you feel better soon. I've been curious...Why do you stay in your marriage when you're not happy?

  8. awwwwww..

    we are here to listen whenever you are ready..

    lots and lots and lots of hugs..

  9. everything will be alright by God's grace. a problem shared is a problem solve.. hope you get better

  10. Thank you so much for all your reassuring words and hugs, I feel really loved. The worst of it is over for now- I feel much better and I am now ready for a new month. and continous blogging.. :-)

    @ Chari and SexWriter- I dont know how much longer I will cope, but the situation as it is now does not permit me to walk!!I don't think that I am strong enough to do that yet.

  11. first time here. I like the advice your aunt gave. Know why you are getting into marriage and dont mix up the signals when you get there
    i hope everything works out well for you

  12. @ naijagirl- its an advice that I give to many people and remind many married women about as well...thanks dearie