Pardon the title- it's not my doing as you will soon read! I have had a hectic few weeks and been quite lazy to write amidst all the wonderful stuff that's going on in this life of mine!! I also lost a close friend and was stung by it quite bad but as with all things, time heals.
Anyway, today's article ain't about me- infact when i got the email- I was quite perturbed and since I got it yesterday- I've been thinking of what advice I could possibly give- I am still thinking and nothing really comes to mind for now.. I'm throwing it out there, people - it'll be hard but try not to judge and please be objective- then you'll see why I am having difficulty giving advice.... but what's done is done and I think ultimately she needs our help and let's give it as best as we can. Again, the writer is completely anonymous to me and I will call her 'Bisi' for the purpose of this story and I have not edited the contents of her story and YES, the title is directly from her as well. Here goes....
Dear Mrs. No Soul,
Sorry for the dramatic heading but that’s the best way I can sum up my situation. Where do I start from so that this story can make sense to people reading it?
While I was doing my NYSC, I met a much older guy, he was about 50yrs old then and he was extremely successful. I was posted to Ibadan, Oyo State, though life there was different from Lagos, I would, on the whole, sum Ibadan up as a very lively city where you meet a lot of influential people and Chief was one of them.
Before I moved to Ibadan and met Chief I was dating Dapo, we had been together since we were in Uni and everybody assumed we would later get married. Chief advised me to keep my relationship with Dapo as he could not marry me as he already had four wives and he was getting too tired of the domestic squabbles among the wives and taking a fifth wife would surely send him to his grave. Though I loved Chief very much I knew it would be difficult to present him at home as my partner, so I took Chief’s advice and kept Dapo.
Dapo never suspected a thing because he was doing his NYSC in Ilorin and it was only a couple of times we met up in Lagos where we both lived before service. Chief spoilt me silly in Ibadan, I had my own apartment and a nice car to cruise around in and the spare cash was used in taking care of Dapo. Not that Dapo was collecting money from me, he was a proud guy and would die first before asking for money from me, but I did buy him a lot of presents and would often lie that I got a lot of financial perks working as the PA to the MD of the company I was posted and that I was often bribed by people who desperately wanted appointments with him.
I started traveling everywhere with Chief and soon enough people in Ibadan started referring to me as Iyawo kekere, I didn’t really care because I was sure that the gist would never filter to Lagos, because life in Ibadan was just too remote and the rich people of Ibadan who live there never come to Lagos.
By the end of the service year, things had started picking up for Dapo career wise, he was retained and even promoted with a fantastic package. Chief advised me to move back to Lagos and even counseled me on how to get Dapo to propose to me. It was at this point that I discovered I was pregnant, although I had been sleeping with both of them, I was certain the pregnancy belonged to Chief , when I told him, he said I should terminate the pregnancy and even gave me money to go abroad to terminate it. I traveled out of the country but rather than have the abortion I spent the money shopping and I called Dapo to tell him I was pregnant. He was overjoyed and requested to bring his parents to meet mine upon my arrival. I agreed and I cut all ties with Chief from then.
We had a modest wedding and within seven months I gave birth to our son. He didn’t look like Dapo at all and luckily for me he had some of my features but he was a spitting image of Chief, luckily what happened in Ibadan stayed well in Ibadan and Chief did not make any attempt to look for me.
When my son turned 4yrs, he started to fall ill and there was never anything wrong with him. He is now 5yrs old and about 8months ago I gave my life to Christ and started attending a Pentecostal church. During one of our services the Pastor announced that a certain Woman had offended God and her Husband by passing off her lover’s child as her husband's and that was the reason why the child had been experiencing strange and unexplained ailments and until she confessed she would know no peace and neither would the child.
I knew in my heart that it was me the Pastor was referring to, that was three months ago, I have still not found the courage to confess to my husband, it is hard watching my son suffer so much because of my sin, but how do I explain to a husband that the boy he’s called son for 5yrs belongs to another man and how do I explain to my son one day that the reason his father left us is because the man wasn’t really his father. And how would he feel about me knowing I was the cause of his suffering and pain as a child and the fact that he had a permanent room in a hospital because he spent a lot of days and nights there??
The reason why I am writing to Mrs. No-Soul is so that maybe she can provide me with a solution on how to tell my husband about my secret without wrecking our relationship or maybe someone out there can advice me on how to go about it.
And finally I am wondering if I should look for Chief and tell him about our Son, so that if Chief accepts him my son will have a father. Just a thought though.
2 months ago